Phuket? Sure Fook It!

Langkawi is really close to Thailand (only an hour by boat) but you can only get a visa for 14 days if you enter by land. You need to fly in to the country to get the 30 day visa. This was a pain as it meant having to fly all the way back to Kuala Lumpur to catch another flight to Phuket. Because of the air show that was taking place in Langkawi, our flight was delayed for hours and then the flight from KL was delayed for hours also, so we were pretty pissed off by the time we arrived at our hotel as it had taken us 13 hours to get there. We were delighted that the hotel was gorgeous (http://www.rmarresortandspa.com/) and we got a great deal on it for 4 nights. It's right in the centre of Patong but a street back from all the madness.

I had to change the last of our Malaysian Ringgits so told Brian I was going to get some Thai Bahts. He got all excited and wanted to come with me as he thought it was some sort of fancy soapy Thai massage in a bath! Ha!

We had heard that Phuket is a dive and were warned by people to only stay for a night or two but we loved it! It's filthy but it was a gas experience. On our first night, we had dinner in a fish restaurant and there was a rat running around our feet, eww :( I'm ashamed to say we lived on a Burger King diet for a few days afterwards...then we discovered banana pancakes, wow!

The place is buzzing and the Thai people are incredibly nice, even when you say no to a massage or a tuk tuk or a ping pong show for the millionth time, they are polite and friendly and smiley. Brian was on the beach one day and a lovely old Thai lady came over and asked if he wanted any Aloe Vera (she probably noticed his red snapper complexion, he was very Irish looking). He said no thanks but she obviously felt he was in dire need so proceeded to split open a giant Aloe Vera leaf and massage it into him saying "free, free". He said it felt really nice for all the wrong and right reasons :) The beach was minging so we didn't go back to it. It's a shame as it could be lovely but it's really polluted with litter everywhere and the water is murky and full of boats. There's loads to see and do there so we didn't mind too much, there'll be plenty of beaches to see!

The dogs are also very friendly there. The doctor who had given us our jabs told us not to pet any dogs...but she forgot to give us our polio jabs so Brian decided to pet ALL the dogs just to spite her! :)

We were sitting in our little 'local' one night there and Brian exclaims, "this is my favourite bar", I laughed and he said, "What? The music is deadly". Yeah Brian, the music is the key selling point alright. Nothing to do with the gorgeous, scantily-clad Thai girlies making a fuss over you haha! He nearly exploded with joy when he got his group hug with them all :)

A load of fat old grandads frequented the place, no grandmas in sight though, just the gorgeous-looking 18-year-old Thai girls. Grandas in Ireland would settle for a packet of werthers originals and a cup of tea. Not here they don't, the filthy animals!

Phuket is a mad place full of lady boys, massage parlours, pimped up tuk tuks and people trying to drag you into free strip shows where there are some tricks done with ping pong balls, frogs and other stuff. I had learned my lesson after my Moulin Rouge saga in Amsterdam so sidestepped the ping pong show experience and went to see some Thai boxing instead. The Bangla Road stadium was mental, with all types of betting, fixing and craziness going on. The first fight was between two cute little 10-year-olds and they got more serious after that with some really impressive fighters from Thailand and around the world. There was one huge knockout where a Canadian knocked out a local Thai lad. It was a brilliant night out!

While we were there, Brian entered Mr. Gay Phuket 2013 but came runner up to the Statue of Liberty below.

He also did a bit of window shopping in the "soapy massage" parlours...

Brian was also getting into the swing of things with the lingo. He had perfected 'hello' and 'thank you' and suddenly felt fluent. He started making up his own words and actually used them involuntarily, in real situations, much to my (and the Thai people's) dismay. For instance, one night, he wanted to say 'no thank you' and answered 'na hum wat' which he basically just thought sounded right :)

So now that one of us speaks fluent Thai, we're moving on to Phi Phi for some relaxing beach time...